ATTENTION: Spoilers for all seasons of “Torchwood,” including “Children of Earth” and the fourth season below. Do not read if you have not watched the (available) seasons.
A pest of yours seems to have landed in L.A. Um, yeah, he’s beating the horse he killed a year ago and it’s frightening the children. But don’t worry, we’ll be returning him in a box filled with coffee from nine hysterical women.
The United States of America
I have had no interest whatsoever in the new season of “Torchwood” (set to air on Starz ) but have been unable to miss the news since I have so many groups and friends on LiveJournal invested in this new disaster. After the deaths of Tosh and Owen in the second season, I was miffed but still had my favorite character, Ianto Jones, and pairing of Jack and Ianto to watch. And I decided I had been ignoring Gwen for so long I could keep doing it for the third season. And then “Torchwood: Children of Earth” dropped like the bomb it was. Or rather, the political drama RTD wrote and then decided to pop the remaining “Torchwood” characters in and call it a five-day event.
The death of Ianto Jones, the true heart and soul of Torchwood and I think I am right in saying, fan favorite, in Day Four was the death heard ‘round the fandom. This is not only because it was completely unexpected, but because it was done in a situation that, had the writers remembered a little thing called characterization, Jack and Ianto shouldn’t have gone into unprepared as they did. They are members of an organization created to protect the earth from extraterrestrial threats and they go into the chamber housing an alien known for its chemical warfare with no protective suits and only their guns as weapons? Even I would know not to do that.
This all to set it up so Jack could kill the grandson no one knew he had and complete destroy two seasons (and many “Doctor Who” crossover episodes) worth of character growth, therefore making it all moot. He ruined an amazing television show and his two best characters all in the name of “good drama.”
But what infuriates me the most is that Gwen Cooper, the supposed Heart of Torchwood who cheated on her fiancée, told him about the affair and then gave him an amnesia pill so he could forgive her and then forget she told him, made inappropriate advances to her boss her first day (though he wasn’t completely innocent) and only accepted her now husband’s proposal because her (unrequited) “true” love had left, has survived. She and her womb of steel survived explosions, gunfire, aliens secreting poisonous gas and a massive amount of running all so she could go on and star in a new season of a show that should not bear the “Torchwood” name.
To give you an idea of how completely twisted and unrecognizable the show has become, let me introduce you to the new characters (courtesy of ONTD on LiveJournal though the Starz site only lists Rex as he is a series regular and the other two are reoccurring):
[REX MATHESON] CAUCASIAN, Late 20s, CIA agent, a fast-tracked high-flyer. And he knows it! Rex is fast, sharp, smart, clever, and when the situation demands it, ruthless. He’s got a lethal sense of humor – he doesn’t care if he makes enemies, he’s too busy enjoying himself. But when Rex’s life is put in danger, he feels his own mortality for the first time, and has to balance the demands of the job, and his duty to his country, against his desperate desire to survive. Though that doesn’t defeat him – if anything, it makes him even more arrogant and unstoppable than ever. For Rex, all rules are off! Like him or loathe him, you can’t miss him – and that’s exactly how Rex wants things to be.
[ESTHER KATUSI] She’s early 20s, a Watch Analyst at the CIA – it’s one of the less glamorous jobs, filtering information to pass along the chain. But Esther’s determined to better herself! She’s still young, so the job hasn’t made her cynical yet – she’s still an optimist, ever hopeful, and her faith in mankind is sustained by her own Christianity. She’s hopelessly in love with one of the CIA agents, Rex Matheson, though she’d never tell him. Nevertheless, she’s no pushover – she’s more than capable of thinking for herself, and can break the rules when she needs to. And when Esther’s forced off the grid, and on the run, she learns to survive, fast. She turns out to be a natural, learning to fight and run with the best of them, without ever losing her essential good-hearted nature.
[OSWALD JONES] CAUCASIAN, Late 40s, a convicted murderer and pedophile. But he’s no thug – this man is dangerously clever. Oswald escapes his sentence on a technicality, and finds himself becoming a media celebrity. And he’s sharp enough to make the most of the situation, and profit from it. He’s always thinking, always aware, always looking for the chance to promote himself – while living with the fact that many people want him dead. He appears to be wonderfully, genuinely repentant – but underneath, he’s still boiling with lust and rage. And one day, he’s going to lose control again. But this man is destined to become more important than even he could have foreseen, as terrifying events of worldwide significance begin to turn around him.
Yes you’re reading that right. One character, albeit only a recurring character but with the possibility of becoming a regular, is a murderer and a pedophile. But he’s smart and he’s repentant so we should just love him and ignore all that silly felony stuff.
I believe I speak for all when I say: what the hell? I literally cannot wrap my mind around this or even begin to understand the creators’ thought process on this entire monstrosity. It gives me a headache.
So I say keep flogging, Molly, but I am just one of many not tuning in to the mess you’ve decided to slap a Torchwood sticker on. Instead, I think I’ll take your excellent advice and go watch “Supernatural.”